Friday, April 20, 2018

The Last Holidays

Like everyone else, we had Christmas.  Unlike everyone else, we had it 3 times.

First Christmas:

What is Nora studying so intently?
 Grandpa's flying shark, of course.  What else would one get a grandfather?

 Bebop wanted to protect Nora from her bear.

And, of course, first Christmas dinner: Turkey.

Real Christmas:

 "Will you share with a poor starving doggie?"

 Filet Mignon and assorted foods.  Small crowd.

Third Christmas:
Yes, I was there.

Shannon's birthday:

And then came the visit by the grandchildren for a week, while their father took a business trip to California, and their mama went to get relief from snow.

The children bought this hat for their father some 10 years ago, and our son's wife found nearly matching hats for our son and his 2 kids.

And my dearly beloved's 75th birthday, for which many made the pilgrimage, and we enjoyed a Lemon Sponge Cake.

But a week before this event, my dearly beloved, who had had pneumonia New Year's week, was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He began treatment within 3 weeks, but it wasn't enough.  To cut short a long and painful story, he was hospitalized twice, the second time because his left leg was paralyzed.  The cancer grew despite treatment, broke his spine, and the week after Easter, they gave him 2 to 4 months to live.  He died 36 hours later, on April 6.

My heart is broken; I don't know how to live without him.  He's been the center of my universe for 39 years.  Now, I have to figure out how to recenter my world, and survive for the sake of Mark, who lost his father when he was only 18, and Ryan, who's not in much better shape at 21.  The world is a cold, harsh place today.

Or, as Jim Croce sang on what I believe was a B side of a 45 back in the early 1970s, "Photographs and memories, Christmas cards you gave to me, all that I have are these..."

I'll be back, some time.


Sue said...

Some wonderful memories full of family and laughter and all the things that make everything worthwhile. I'm here if you need to chat, or rant or scream or sob.

Pam said...

I love that song. I am so glad you had Christmas and his birthday together. I am so sorry for your heartbreaking loss...You have been in my thoughts daily. Sending so much love, strength, and courage your way. I am here if you need anything. xoxo

Linda T said...

I lost my Dad when I was 14; my Mom was 45. He was gone much too soon. It was hard (still is) but your children will carry on and have wonderful memories. Mom missed him, I believe, until she passed away almost 40 years later. Thoughts are with you during this sad time.

S & Y from T said...

Dear Marjie, I am so sorry for your loss & send my condolences to you & your family. I'm only a lurker but enjoyed your family, the delicious meals, the dogs. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your lives, know your wonderful family will sustain & comfort each other at this terrible time, Anonymous

gemma said...

I knew something was terribly wrong. My heart is broken for you and the family. Thank God you all have each other and all of your wonderful times together.

Faye Lewis said...

Oh my goodness Marjie. My prayers are with you and your children. I am so very sorry!

Heather said...

Dear Margie, I have been following you and your lovely family for many years, anything I could write sounds so trite. My thoughts are with you and yours in this most awful time, I do hope that soon you will only remember the good times.

Ann Made Studio said...

Oh my I am so sorry for your loss! My thoughts are with you and your family. Take care.

Big Dude said...

Marjie - I am sooo sorry to hear of your loss and can't imagine your pain. Hopefully your blogger buddies can provide some support for you.

Eileensews said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I have been following your family on the blog for years. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts at this time.

gMarie said...

This is heartbreaking on so many levels. Now you need to learn how to center your world around you - difficult as that sounds. Find the things you enjoy. Take your kids up on their offers to go to the zoo and aquarium and spend time making memories with those grandbabies. They need you now as much as the boys do. Love you! g

Rhodesia said...

I guessed that there was a problem due to lack of posts, but I did not imagine such a huge problem with such a final ending. Our thoughts are with you and the family. I am sure you have masses of support, but life will never be quite the same for you. Take care and please keep in touch when you feel up to it. I miss you. Take care, Diane

Unknown said...

So sorry to hear of your painful loss. From reading your blog I know you have many precious memories. They will bring comfort in time. Sending love and prayers.

Claire S. said...

Oh Marjie I'm so, so sorry for your loss! I've not been keeping up with my reading but you've been on my mind lately. This is heartbreaking, you've always spoken as though you were the center ot each other's world. My deepest condolences to you and the kids, I'll keep you all in my prayers.

grace said...

marjie, i'm so deeply sorry! prayers for your family, each and every one of you! i'm thankful you have such a large and caring family to surround you during this terribly sad time. hugs to you!

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

You had three Christmases? In ONE year? Ever lucky. MOUSES! It looks like everyone had a wonderful time spendin' quality time with one another. PURRS.

SissySees said...

I'm so blessed that we were able to share a meal with you and your beloved, and the two "little boys" who towered over you, me and I believe, my Mark too. You have so much love in your life and I know it will sustain you. You are a rock, but I trust too that you have a support system that will prevail as you rebuild life as you know it. Hugs!!!!

Joolz said...

Dear Marjie, I too have been following for years, never commenting much but always enjoying the antics of your loving family. My sincere
sympathy to you all on this heart breaking loss.

Joolz xx